Ode to the Serbian Language

Okruživao si me od kako znam za sebe. Bio potreban da izrazim sve što želim, sve snove i ideje. Bio nešto što sam upijala iz okoline, knjiga, muzike i svoje stvarnosti. Bio jedino utočište kad drugog nije bilo, i kad se dolazilo do kraja mojim rečima nikad nije bilo kraja. Uvek sam bila jaka na njima. I nikad nisam imala većih problema da ih nađem. Ali, lako je zaboraviti vezu koja između nas postoji, lako zaboraviti-jer i cveće vene kad se ne zaliva.


Nedavno sam shvatila da moram ponovo početi da čitam tvoje knjige. U jurnjavi za drugima, uspela sam da zapostavim tebe. Došlo je do toga da mi je ponekad teško da ugrabim reči, koje su mi nekad tako neverovatno lako sklizale s jezika, da izrazim svoje misli.

Dugujem ti jedno veliko izvinjenje. Jer ti ništa nisi kriv. Nikada me nisi sputavao, već davao krila i ohrabrivao nove poteze, bodrio na prihvatanje novih izazova. A čini se, ja sam te izdala. Polako se okretala tuđim, a svoje ostavljala po strani. Zaslužio si mnogo više od toga. Izvini. Neću više.

Ne mogu da kažem ni garantujem da ću ikada prestati da jurim za metropolama sveta, ali svakako neću sebi više dopustiti da potisnem sebe, tebe, nas. Nemoj da brines, uvek si tu, iako sad malo teže posežem s tobom i šišam slova dok pišem, i retko upotrebljavam aorist i pluskvamperfekat. Budimo realni, nikad mi oni nisu bili omiljena vremena. Ali potencijal, to je nešto čega se svakako ne smem odreći.

Ti, u svoj svojoj slavi, svoj lepoti vremena, glasovnih promena, padeža i nedostižnih akcenata, danas slaviš svoj dan. Dan maternjih jezika. Srećan ti tvoj dan, jeziku moj. Lepšeg na ovom svetu nema.

You’ve been around me since before I can remember. I needed you to express everything I desire, all my dreams and ideas. You were something I absorbed from the environment, books, music and my reality. Were the only comfort, when all others failed, and when the end came my words never ended. They were always my strong suit. And I’ve never had big issues in finding them. But, it’s easy to forget the link that exists between us, easy to forget- because even flowers wither when not watered.

I recently understood the need to start reading your books again. In my pursuit of others, I managed to neglect you. It’s come to me sometimes struggling to grasp onto words, the very same ones that used to roll off my tongue so easily, to express my thoughts.

I owe you a huge apology. You are guilty of nothing. You never held me back, but gave me wings and encouraged new moves, cheered on every new challenge. It seems as if I betrayed you. Slowly turning to foreign, living my own behind. You deserve so much better than that. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.

I can’t say I can guarantee I will stop chasing big metropolises of the world, but I will never let myself suppress you, me, us. Don’t worry, you remain here, though I reach for you a bit harder, remove special characters as I’m writing and rarely use aorist and pluperfect. Let’s be honest, they were far from my favorite tenses. But our conditional, that’s something I definitely cannot forsake.


You, in all your glory, all the beauty of tenses, vocal changes, cases and unreachable accents, celebrate your day today. The native language day. Happy day, my language. There’s none more beautiful in the world.

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